Consomme
by cheeseandhamburger
Summary: When Light takes a potato chip AND EATS IT, L gains a new fetish. Light/L or Light/chips/L.


L popped a sugar cube into his wide open mouth, looking carefully at the screen in front of him.

 _Still nothing._

Overall, he had to admit that keeping the Yagami family under surveillance wasn't as interesting or as revealing as he had hoped. So far their behavior was pretty normal, maybe with the exception of Light with his paranoia about privacy, and even that could be easily explained without implicating him.

Now, for example, Sachiko and Sayu Yagami were watching TV, and Light Yagami was doing his homework and eating potato chips. Eww. L personally never saw the appeal. Too salty. Something sweet on the other hand...

L reached for a piece of a coconut flavored ice cream cake with white chocolate fudge on top.

"Mr. Yagami, would you like some?"

Soichiro eyed him with disapproval.

"No, thank you," he said, "but you should perhaps reconsider your own dietary choices, Ryuzaki."

"Thank you for your concern, but I will be fine," L replied with his mouth full. Some people really didn't understand the value of comfort food.

On the screen, Light Yagami was was still writing and eating. He took another chip out of the bag.

Crunch.

The chip broke between his perfect, white teeth. Light chewed, swallowed and took out another one. It wasn't exactly an unpleasant sight. Even though L disliked salty snacks, he didn't mind watching the youngest male Yagami munch on them. He didn't mind it at all.

Crunch.

Yet another chip. Chewing. Swallowing.

L felt a pleasant shiver down his spine. Light Yagami was a rather good looking male, and there was something undeniably graceful about the way he was consuming his snacks.

Crunch.

Light shoved yet another chip between his luscious lips. He was devoting his entire attention to homework, and eating was done almost mechanically, yet it was still done with such elegance. L's cock twitched in appreciation.

Wait, what?! What was happening? Why was he reacting like this? Why should he be aroused by the sight of his suspect _eating chips_?There was nothing particularly erotic about it. Just another human being, engaging in a perfectly normal, trivial, physiological activity. There was absolutely nothing sexual about it.

Crunch!

Or maybe there was. L brought his knees together to hide his rising erection. Not that the chief or anybody else would notice anything with L sitting in his favorite position, but still.

Crunch!

There was some raw passion in the way Light Yagami was devouring his chips. He seemed completely focused on writing, but there was some spark in his eyes as he consumed the snacks. Something wild, yet calculating. Something... exciting. And L sure was excited.

When it came to sex, L knew he was inexperienced. He had experimented with pornography a few years back, but once the novelty had worn off, he lost interest. The arousal was never as intense back then as it was now. His erection was throbbing almost painfully. He moaned before he could stop himself.

"Is everything all right, Ryuzaki?" Chief Yagami asked.

"Yes," L answered almost huskily, earning a worried look.

 _Can a few minutes of watching one man eat really do this to me?_

 _No!_

 _It doesn't matter. I'm just going to have to sit through this. I can control myself. Yes, I can control myself. I'm certain that I can do this._

CRUNCH!

L almost jumped out of his chair. "Mr. Yagami, excuse me for a moment," he said, and ran to the bathroom, his penis dripping with precum.

 _Damn you, Kira!_

-ooo-

Next months changed much, and yet not enough. For one, L personally made contact with his prime suspect and brought him into the investigation team. Other than that, the second Kira had appeared, was subsequently (possibly) captured, and Light Yagami volunteered to join her in confinement because he _might_ be Kira.

And then the whole case turned into an even more confusing mess than it was before. The killings stopped and restarted again, Light changed his behavior overnight, and L didn't know what to think anymore, as much as that infuriated him. Although, to be perfectly honest, he knew more than well what his libido wanted him to think about.

He could barely look at his prime suspect without picturing his sensual lips chewing, biting, and crushing chips. He couldn't focus on work and he couldn't keep his mind on the case. He hardly ever slept, but on those increasingly rare occasions that he did, his dreams were filled with deliciously torturous images of Light Yagami's snack time.

It was ridiculous that the world's greatest detective would develop such a debilitating weakness. He tried to satisfy those urges with more traditional fodder. He started watching a lot of porn, but to his deep frustration, it just wasn't enough. Homosexual, heterosexual, threesomes, foursomes, BDSM, or anything else felt insufficient, uninspired and not stimulating enough. The images of perfect naked bodies, while not completely unappealing, somehow paled next to the cold fire in Light Yagami's eyes when he consumed some plain, old, greasy sliced potatoes. Yuck. But an impossibly arousing kind of yuck.

After many failures with porn, L decided to try something else. He observed the other members of the task force eat their lunches a few times, but he remained indifferent. As the next step, he instructed Watari to bring each of them chips and watched them chomp on those, but yet again, he found himself completely unmoved. The act of eating in and of itself wasn't what turned L on.

It was humiliating, it was obscene, it was completely and utterly absurd, but it seemed that, for some inexplicable reason, L's newly-roused libido was only responsive to a combination of chips and Light Yagami. No more, no less.

Eventually, L started to regret destroying the tape with the... _event._ He did it to remove the temptation, to go cold turkey and cut himself off from the "fix", but after months of obsession, he decided to give up on his rehab.

Ultimately, it was the same with sweets. L could never be a poster boy for self-discipline.

-ooo-

"Are you sure about this, Ryuzaki?" Light asked, looking into the camera and massaging his sore wrists. Removing the handcuffs must have been a massive relief after more than two weeks with his hands and legs chained.

"Absolutely. Light-kun. I can't let you out until we can prove you're not Kira, but I still have to consider your wellbeing," L answered smoothly. "You have an hour without restraints. You can use it to exercise if you like, but I strongly advise you to start with the food."

Light looked at the snacks brought to him by Watari.

"I figure you of all people would advise just that," he said, smiling good naturedly.

"If that's a jibe at my eating habits, I have nothing to be embarrassed about," L replied. "I'm not in the habit of denying myself." _Not anymore, and never again._

Light reached for the bag of chips. "My favorite flavor!"

"I figured it might be." L smirked, feeling warmth in the pit of his stomach. The chair was comfortable, the camera was recording, and L was horny.

-ooo-

The world's greatest detective L had worked on many cases in his life. Some were easier, some were harder, but he prided himself in solving them all. And then the goddamn Kira case happened.

He didn't know anything anymore. Was Light Yagami Kira, or just Kira's pawn, with his memories wiped? Or was it all in L's head and Light was just an innocent young man? Could the real Kira even be caught?

L was unmotivated, frustrated, and seriously worried that, for the first time in his life, he was about to fail to solve a case.

And to top it off, he couldn't masturbate when he was handcuffed to his damn suspect without said suspect witnessing it! Without the much needed release, L's frustration kept growing until he had an epiphany: all he had to do was let his suspect sleep and do the _do_ with Yagami-kun blissfully unaware.

He didn't like that idea at first. Keeping Light tired and irritable did lower his efficiency, but at the same time it also increased the chances of him slipping or blurting out something incriminating if he actually was Kira. Still, as much as it pained him to admit it, L was currently much more irritable and inefficient of the two of them.

"Good night, Light-kun," he said as Light's head hit the pillow. It was a long day of fruitless but tiresome work, and he's been kept awake and working for two days straight. Not that he protested.

"Hmm, night," Light murmured, and closed his eyes.

L waited for about half an hour before he felt reasonably certain his suspect is asleep. Then he put on the headphones and turned on his laptop, his cock already hardening in anticipation. It was astounding how quickly he became aroused when the film started playing. Light was in his cell, eating.

Crunch!

And the sound, of course.

L moaned quietly, knowing he needed to be careful not to wake his suspect. However, as the film went on, it was getting harder to keep his voice down. One chip, two chips, contented sigh, beautiful mouth, three chips.

Suddenly, L felt a hand around his cock. And it wasn't his own! Mortified, he looked at his suspect and, sure enough, Light was smirking mischievously, his eyes wide open.

"Caught you."

"Yagami-kun is overstepping his boundaries," L tried and failed not to gasp.

"Am I, Ryuzaki? Because I think you want this. I think you want this more than you care to admit."

L opened his mouth to give an angry retort, but Light chose that moment to start pumping L's erection and the world's horniest detective moaned quite loudly.

"Ryuzaki!"

Light's fingers played with L's cock expertly, provoking responses L simply couldn't stop. His was writhing and moaning. Light Yagami lowered his head to his neck and licked playfully and on the screen...

CRUUUUUNCH!

"Kira!" L screamed as he came.

"Ryuzaki!" Light was shaking his shoulders. "Ryuzaki!"

"What? What, Light-kun?" L opened his eyes. It was morning, and his prime suspect was leaning over him with a worried look.

"You were screaming in your sleep."

 _No, not again!_

He thought about Dream-Light's knowing smile and his skillful hands, he thought about crunching and swallowing and the whole perverse act and he couldn't stop himself from glaring at his oblivious suspect.

 _Damn you, Kira._


End file.
